any man with a briefcase can steal more money than a man with a gun


and she's back from outer space

Well, hello. My computer was acting weird. I couldn't get on the internet. I think we paid our bill late, so it's finally working now that I made a payment. Ah, the power of money!

I am out of training at work and I have my own desk. I got lucky for a little while - they gave me a window cubicle. Very nice view of the trees and we saw turkeys walking across the fields today. Reminded me of how good turkey and cranberry sauce is on Thanksgiving, which is right around the corner.

My oldest son is talking in his sleep! How adorable. I couldn't understand him though. His 3rd birthday is coming up next month. Unbelievable. Next year: preschool.

I am working a weird schedule right now, so I don't get home until 8:30pm. I might be too tired to post on here during the weekdays, so I'll at least try to come on every weekend.

Nothing too exciting to post about with regards to politics. I'm always interested in a good argument, but I need a break from time to time and want to talk about something else. But here I go...

Something interesting a co-worker said to me (the same one who said "I hate white people" as I cited in an earlier post), I bet you are more liberal than me.

I found this interesting, because I admit I am a complete paradox: I am, really, not as liberal as I may come off as being. There are just certain things that I don't get so excited about that some liberals do get excited about. So I break it down something like this:

1. I am definitely pro-choice. I think most people who are pro-life tend to be single males who really have no f*cking say about what a woman should do with her body. In fact, last stats I saw it was single men who made up the majority of pro-lifers. What also is frightening about this is they are the same people who think it's ok to send a bunch of nineteen year olds into a foreign country for unjustified reasons to die, and kill other people. So how sacred is life really to them?

This is not to say I would go and just terminate a pregnancy. I have two children, have grown two beautiful babies in my body, have felt them kick, have pushed them out, have fed them with my body. I value life and I know what it's like to bring a life into this world. But I also know people who have been told their unborn babies will not live a week after being born due to genetical disorders, and these people chose to end the pregnancy. Does this make them bad people? Are they any worse than the ignorant morons who wear a pro-life t-shirt but support an unjust war?

2. I am also pro-human rights/equal rights - and I'm referring to people who cry and bleed in front of my eyes. This extends to everyone, no matter his or her skin color, religion, and especially sexual orientation. I mean, come on. What is the whoop if someone lives with a man when he is a man? What bearing does it have on your life?

This doesn't change the fact that men will marry women, and visa versa. It does not change the fact that heterosexuality will still continue and men will mate with women. It does not change the fact that people can still believe in God or Jesus or Buddha or whoever. It just means that leave judgement up to God. Let people have the same federal benefits that a woman married to a man has, no matter if it's some girl living with a girl. Big f*cking deal. You don't have to live with them! Go on with your life. And let them go on with theirs, with the same civil liberties you are entitled to in this supposed great country.

3. I am pro-guns. Yes, this is odd. I think if responsible people have guns and have permits to do so, then big whoop as well. I have more respect for hunters who bring home their own natural meat than someone who runs a plant that brutally kills thousands of cows while destroying the environment.

What's worse: some nice guy hunting deer during a designated time of the year, or some fast-food joint destroying the rainforests to raise more cows to feed fat Americans every single day? Give 'em their guns, I say. Fill up that 'frig with turkeys, deer, and ducks from the wild who will most likely die from car accidents anyway.

4. Yes, I'm from whimpy California. But, hey, I love a good steak like the next man. Give me a great 6 oz. tenderloin and you'd think I was a rabid dog who hadn't eaten in a week. Throw in some veggies with lots of butter. Make it medium rare, folks. Hemp bread is alright and all, but I'll give it to the birds before I raise myself and my kids on that stuff.

Just give it to me natural! I don't want Tyson foods filling up our refrigerators. I do have a sensibility that allows me to question how food is processed. Hence the reason I support #3 above, and the following...

5. I'm back and forth on the environment. I mean, it's important to recycle and all, and be concerned with landfills and all, but I'm not about to go blow up SUV's. There's a breaking point, folks. Use some common sense. How good for the environment is it to set cars on fire? But I do have admiration for people like Julia Hill who lived up in a tree for over a year. That's amazing. And it's not hurting anybody, either! I just don't see the point of setting things on fire.

I also eat at fast-food restaurants sometimes which I admit is terrible to do. They are some of the worst offenders of the environment. It's not exactly sweet and very value-mealish to rape the rainforests, kick out indigeneous folks, to raise cattle.

So just how liberal am I? How do you rate?


When a normal person says "God told me to do it," we call him insane. When Bush says God told him to invade Iraq, we call him a hero

Nice. Check out this article on msnbc.com:


Ok, even if he meant it figuratively instead of a weird "metaphysical" whisper in the ear, it still is insane.

I believe in a higher being, but if for one moment I thought this higher being was asking me to have thousands upon thousands of people killed - in the end for oil - then common sense tells me that it is probably a coup on sending me to HELL.

Thanks, God. Thanks a lot.

America, the Imperialist

This is an amazing conclusion to an article taken from Democraticunderground.com. It really ties into what I've been talking about with "hating white people" and my rant under "Hotel Rwanda." He gives more specific examples, so check out his article posted at the end...

"How else to explain the hundreds of U.S. military installations around the world? How else to explain subversive groups like the NED [National Endowment for Democracy], which deliberately interfere in other countries' affairs with the goal of creating regimes friendly to U.S. business interests? What other explanation is there for orchestrating coups in oil-rich countries like Iran (successful) and Venezuela (unsuccessful)? What other explanation can there be for installing and/or supporting tyrannical regimes in Iran, Iraq, Indonesia, Uzbekistan, El Salvador, Guatemala, and Chile (to name but a few)? What other reason is there for the invasion and occupation of a nation that never did the U.S. any harm and had absolutely no proven ability to do so?

Why? Whether anyone really wants to admit it, the U.S. has committed and continues to commit such irrefutably undemocratic acts to establish and protect its hegemony. Its empire. How appropriate, then, that Bush celebrated his Iraqi venture before a crowd of like-minded champions of "free market democracies." How appropriate, considering that both the speaker and his audience advocate spreading "democracy," but only through such undemocratic means as war, coups, and illicit influence."


I believe

I don't need noone

To tell me about heaven

I look at my daughter

And I believe

I don't need no proof

When it comes to god and truth

I can see the sunset

And I perceive...

from "Heaven" by Live

God... Mother Nature - what's going on?

Either some God is pissed, or Mother Nature is menstrating - what is going on with these earthquakes and hurricanes? I just don't get it.

20,000 people estimated dead from an earthquake in Pakistan. Just over 1,000 people dead from Hurricane Katrina. My heart is breaking all over the world along with thousands of others.

It's enough to make you want to slash your wrists and be done with it. Just so you can go upstairs to those gates and ask: what the f*uck? If even the gates exist.

But I have to believe there is something better than this. An old friend of mine once said, the human soul is capable of so much. So that's why I believe in a heaven.

I am trying to have faith and believe that what my friend once said to me - thirteen years ago - is true. So that I can believe that those children who died in the earthquake while in school are running free in a better place. Because if not, then is life worth it? Is the tragedy worth living through? What is left that is beautiful from the ruins?

It's times like these that I just want to say, why did I have kids? To bring them into a world full of let-downs? To show them the beauty of fall - the beauty of orange, red, brown - only for them to wake up from a deep sleep to hear the distant cries of humanity? Perhaps Camus was right - we live to just die, to be buried and to rot.

No. That can't be it. He was right in some things.

But not that.


update: I hate white people

Hello All. Some of you who might be stopping by... haven't heard from you in a while! Well, I have been busy, too. Still in training at work, they are really busy so I know I will have lots of work and *job security* soon. :)

Trivia: Where was Napoleon defeated in 1815?

Answer: Waterloo.

I did not get this answer right today at work during our trivia break. This reminds me that I must read my world history book I bought years ago that I have barely cracked. Ok, so I'm pretty knowledgable with current stuff, U.S. history from around U.G.R.R. through now. Give me credit for that. My true loves lying within the 60's and Mexican-American history. I also know a bit on Black Nationalism and the anti-Chinese and Japanese movement that us lovely "whites" instigated.

Speaking of being white, today a co-worker killed me (figuratively speaking) when he said "I hate white people." Ok, this is so great because he is white. Not many white men are willing to say this, so I about kissed his ring (figuratively speaking). Thank God we're sitting next to each other when the training is completed. I strongly believe in keeping politics away from the workplace because in my last job, I worked with a bunch of conservatives who bashed on every hero of mine, every ideology I hold dear to my bleeding liberal heart. I finally got a little pissed and said something when they said at the desk next to me that "Liberals should all live in California and hopefully fall into the ocean." Ok, enough's enough. So I basically told them to shut up with a smile on my face.

This taught me it's not worth talking politics at work because I care about everyone, and don't want to be tainted in my view of otherwise great and honest people - whether or not we subscribe to the same political ethic. Whether or not they are just blatant idiots because we all know I am right - right? :)

This mentality makes it hard to truly love white people, so like my co-worker, I tend to generalize when I - deep inside - do not want to. I don't necessarily hate white people, as many white people have tried to do good for humanity. Many are compassionate and concerned individuals who fight for the greater good. But many are just morons who play the covert card of discrimination. Many are racist pigs, to state the brutal truth. And let's face it: white people are really to blame for a lot of the world's atrocities. If you don't believe me, then this is an invitation for debate - one where I know I will win.

I remember in high school, way back when, I saw a commercial for the Peace Corps. The toughest job you'll ever love. I knew it was for me. I was stuck in a small town of only conservative white people, and I desperately wanted to get out, I wanted to go to college and join that Corps.

Do something important, then write about it.

You have to have a college education to be in the Corps. So I started out slow because my parents would not pay for college. I went to community college for six years part-time as I worked. I got my A.A., graduating with honors. Then I met my husband.

Then I had two kids.

Then I turned thirty-three (ah, the age of Christ when he died), finally went back to school, got my B.A. with top honors - being the first in my family to even go to college - while raising a two year old and a one month old.

And then it was too late to join the Corps.

So I got involved locally with politics in lieu of my vehement aspiration that went awry. This was not hard. My husband's family have been involved with the Democratic party for years upon years. Jeff's dad was a delegate to Carter's campaign. We also campaigned for Jeff's very good family friend, Matthew Gillard, who is D-State Rep. A picture of Jennifer Granholm standing next to my in-laws graces their refrigerator, as did a Christmas card from her last year. Many portraits of the Kennedys - some my husband painted, some prints of B&W Photos - hang delicately from the walls.

So this is my Peace Corps. It has to be. Fighting the good fight by going to the protest at Calvin College, protesting Bush's presence, is my Corps. Raising my kids to be honest, white men, who will admit to the fault of their fathers, is my Corps. So that hopefully one day - they, too - will admit that it is valuable to criticize your own skin color - your own country - in order to demand better from the human race. To demand better from a country that still fails to deliver equality to all, as it falsely flouts freedom. To demand us to move into another sphere of mentality, one void of Randall Robinsons who have no other choice but to believe that we have traveled a long way to nowhere.

Does this mean the world has any hope? Or myself? Perhaps. That is why today I serve the Corps in a different way than planned, in an invisible way. In a way that fights for a better America, a better society that values each and every one of us.

I will fight for this. It is important. And I will still write about it.


The Texas Mafia is Running the Country

Can it get any worse? Two ultra conservatives appointed and confirmed into the Supreme Court: Roberts and Miers.

You think that a sixty year old woman who has never married and never had children would not be so freaking conservative. But oh no, not with OUR luck.

You would think someone who MADE THE CHOICE (apparantly) to never marry and have children would be all about choices, but oh no, she is a freaking pro-lifer. And as Robert Kennedy, Jr. told a sold out crowd in G.R. that "Roberts represented a corporation who was ranked as one of the worst environmental offenders" (paraphrased), I am beginning to sulk all over again.

We are bankrupt, my kids will never see social security - if even I get to - we are hated by many countries, a war that was supposed to end several years ago is still revealing a high number of casualties, religion is trying to pry itself into our government with the pushing of faith-based initiatives, and I am about to puke. Seriously. Get me out of this country!

But wait. I love this country. I just think that the dumb Texans who have taken over think this is how it's going to be. Well, think again. I'll mess with Texas, just like a lot of other concerned citizens. Three years left and I just know a Democrat will take over office, and we will see peace and prosperity again.

I think I'll stay a little while longer to help out and watch.

p.s. At least DeLay was FINALLY convicted of money laundering. That bastard! A victory for humanity all around.


Hotel Rwanda - Eleven Year Anniversary

I finally saw the "feel-good movie" of the year, Hotel Rwanda. Since a former professor of mine has been telling me for months to see it. It was completely moving, as I expected, and of course I shed many tears. It is amazing how weeping becomes an art form for me, every time I read or hear something sad, I learn how to cry all over again when I promised - perhaps the day before - that I will be "strong." Yeah, right.

My husband is out right now at Fountain Street Church (for those of you who have not heard of this, it is a free-thinking "church" that is basically aligned with the U.U. religion). He is hearing the awesome Robert Kennedy, Jr. speak about our environment. I once saw him on the terrifying show Hannity and Colmes (yeah, why do I torment myself and watch FOX news??) saying that he had enough mercury poisoning in his body that if he was a pregnant woman, his child would be born with birth defects.

Jeff went with his aunt, and I stayed home with the kids. I felt that I could at least afford him this evening since he is the stay-at-home dad. Being stuck in this house for nine hours a day would drive me batty, so I had no problem with him going. I was talking about Hotel Rwanda with his aunt before they went, and it got us talking about the Sudan tragedies. BUST magazine reported that many women and girls (as young as three years old) are being victims of war-related rape. Even those who are "representing" the U.N. have participated. Nice, huh?

I asked Jeff's aunt why she thought we don't even hear about these things in our "liberal" media. She put it perfectly: "I have two words for you, Kelli, and that is oil and black."

What she is saying, essentially, is that because we have nothing to gain from intervening, and because - as BUST ironically put it - "it's just Africa," why would we get involved? Same thing as Rwanda. Same as how the journalist-character played by the awesome Joaquin Phoenix said in the movie, "The world will say, 'that's terrible,' but then go on to eat their dinners."

If we, as Americans, have nothing to gain, then we will continue to feast while others starve and get murdered.

Many people - who are pro-war - say something interesting to me when I ask them how they feel about the Weapons of Mass Destruction lies, about how they feel of the war now. Of how they feel that Bin Laden was not the one we caught, but instead, how we went after Hussein. And they tell me that, oh well, it's good because Hussein needed to get caught anyway. He was an awful dictator.

If this is the case - which I am not debating now - then why do we not go after the "awful" dictators (or rebel groups) in South/Central America? Or Africa? Why is it that they get away with genocide, or that we even have stooped so low as to fund their atrocities? It boils down to what my husband's aunt said - once again, what is our vested interest? If we do not have one, then we shrug our shoulders and continue to feast.

We have an interest in the Middle East - that is something that every American knows. We also have an interest in South/Central America, because many of our business interests lie within this region. Yet, their "awful" dictators are allowed their freedom to commit crimes (even with American money) because they appease the American business interest. Hussein - while indeed an asshole - did not. So we go in and attack his country and take over under the banner of "freedom."

This is what upsets me greatly when I see a movie like Hotel Rwanda. I see the other side: the side of people who look to our generally wealthy country and "democratic" government for help, yet we historically turn the other cheek. African-American activist and expatriate, Randall Robinson, wrote in his book Defending the Spirit - after encountering a racist who called him "boy," when he is a Harvard Lawyer who has dined with Presidents - that "the 'boy' to whom the [white] semiliterate corn farmer is referring is I. And I have traveled a long way to nowhere."

That last line is how I sum up America: we have traveled a long way to nowhere. While women are being raped along with their three-year old daughters in Sudan, conservative fundamentalists are trying to change our constitution, and are putting the Gay/Lesbian community into a state of second-class citizenship. While many people are still being captured into slavery or being subjected to sweatshop conditions while American corporations make billions in profit, a Kansas Attorney General is more concerned with obtaining the medical records of women who had abortions. Like it is any of his f*cking business.

So where are we now? Over a hundred years from when slavery was abolished, over forty years from when segregation was removed, over twenty years from when abortion clinics were bombed, over ten years from when NAFTA was put into place, we are still in a state of ruin.

Some people send me their e:mails of a crying eagle, and I laugh, because they think he is crying for a different reason than myself. They think of the tragedy of 9/11 and our fallen soldiers- and while yet it is still a tragedy, especially for a veteran like myself - I think of the lack of dignity we encompass because of our inability to truly, and equally, promote the ideals of democracy. Our inability to not only try to help our own poor, or by failing to give EVERYONE no matter his or her sexual orientation a taste of our how our government should work.

And this, to me, is why our Mother - and her symbol, that eagle - should cry.


RFK, Jr., at Fountain Street Church

"We are living in a science-fiction nightmare where children are gasping for breath on bad-air days because somebody gave money to a politician. And my children and the kids of millions of other Americans can no longer go fishing and eat their catch because somebody gave money to a politician." Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

RFK, Jr. will be speaking this wednesday at Fountain Street Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Tickets are $10. My husband is most likely going and will tell me about it. When he does, I'll post on here as well.

you don't say...

Why, this sounds like the Iraq war all over again! Nothing like making millions of dollars off of other people's tragedies. Ahhhh, the sweet sounds of capitalism gone wrong:

"The first detailed tally of commitments from federal agencies since Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast four weeks ago shows more than 15 contracts exceed $100 million, including five of $500 million or more. Most were for clearing trees, homes and cars strewn across the region; purchasing mobile homes; or providing trucks, ships, buses and planes.

Already, the Times said, questions have been raised about the political connections of two contractors -- the Shaw Group and Kellogg, Brown & Root, a subsidiary of Halliburton that have been represented by lobbyist Joe Allbaugh, President George W. Bush's ex-campaign manager and former head of FEMA.

"When you do something like this, you do increase the vulnerability for fraud, plain waste, abuse and mismanagement," the Times quoted Richard Skinner, inspector general for the Department of Homeland Security, as saying. "We are very apprehensive about what we are seeing."

Bills have come in for deals that apparently were clinched with a handshake, with no documentation to back them up, said Skinner, who declined to provide details."

Taken from: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050926/us_nm/katrina_bids_dc


Sharon Olds declines White House invite...

Taken from http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051010/olds

For reasons spelled out below, the poet Sharon Olds has declined to attend the National Book Festival in Washington, which, coincidentally or not, takes place September 24, the day of an antiwar mobilization in the capital. Olds, winner of a National Book Critics Circle Award and professor of creative writing at New York University, was invited along with a number of other writers by First Lady Laura Bush to read from their works. Three years ago artist Jules Feiffer declined to attend the festival's White House breakfast as a protest against the Iraq War ("Mr. Feiffer Regrets," November 11, 2002). We suggest that invitees to this year's event consider following their example.   --The Editors

Excerpt from Olds' letter to the First Lady:

"I tried to see my way clear to attend the festival in order to bear witness--as an American who loves her country and its principles and its writing--against this undeclared and devastating war. But I could not face the idea of breaking bread with you. I knew that if I sat down to eat with you, it would feel to me as if I were condoning what I see to be the wild, highhanded actions of the Bush Administration."

Please visit the site to read the rest of her letter.


very tired tonight

Hello everyone. I am extremely tired tonight. We went up north this weekend to visit family. My oldest is getting ready to go to bed, he is addicted right now to Finding Nemo. So he's watching it right now. My youngest is asleep, as he is the one who adheres to a strict schedule.

It has been a sad year, you know. So many sad things that have happened. We can think about this already because there are only three months left in 2005. Hunter S. Thompson, Robert Creeley, Joe Ranft, Hurricane Katrina, the punk boy who lived a block away and was found hanging in his bathroom by a former college classmate.

The whole neighborhood has been quiet. Perhaps it is just that summer is ending. Perhaps it is because we do not know what to say to each other anymore. Each of us passes one another - a small wave happens, a few words may come out of our mouths. Dried leaves fall to the ground. We can not do anything else.

The country is falling apart and I am not buying the crying eagle shit.

Next weekend I am getting drunk on cheap wine as I read words to a foreign crowd. A crowd of people who I do not know. They perhaps will listen, perhaps they will not. They may walk out of the room and go to find some benign painting hanging on the wall whose words may not be so strong and sharp. It is Destination 1111 weekend, and I am reading poetry with others who are disillusioned with what is supposed to be home. Others will read the writings of Thompson and Creeley and weep new tears, know that they were right and we - yes those of us who are still amongst the living - have always been wrong.


hello all.

Well, I'll avoid politics tonight. I am just burned out on the state of our union. Luckily, I will be able to possibly help the situation in New Orleans, in some indirect way, through my new job. Since I will be approving and processing claims, maybe I'll be able to help someone with the ability to rebuild their lost home. I am stuck up in Michigan, married with two children living on a humble wage, with no room in my hot apartment to house a victim. All of the things I wish I could do that I just can't do. It's times like these where I wish I was rich so I could help out. But my heart is rich with the compassion for those who are without home, without family. I can at least give them that, or a small donation of blood and money.

I read that several babies were born during this catastrophe, as the women were leaving the city. It is weird how God - or whoever holds the strings - allows so much death to juxtapose with so much new life. This is a poem in itself.

All friends who come by, I know you have the heart and humanity to feel for these folks. I hope together that we can make small differences as our lives continue in moments of peace.

Because these people do not know peace.